Famous and not so famous programming quotes

Dear All,
I collected some quotes from the odd mailinglists.
OK, at the moment highly Ruby-centric, as I spend most of my coding with Ruby these days.
Thanks for stopping bye.

More funny quotes at Rubygarden.


Maaaatz!... heeelp!... where aaare youuuu ... --Tobias Reif,
11/8/2001, ruby-talk


I said *in mathematics* .... nothing to do with *real* life :-)
--Stefan Schmiedl, 6/8/2001; XP-list


I am not competitive, I just win.
--??


If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe.
--Abraham Lincol


Ruby is easy to learn, but difficult to master.
And like fire it is a very useful friend, and a very dangerous enemy.
--Mikkel, 11/8/2001; ruby-talk


Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle.
-- Bruce Lee


Agility is not an inescapable law of purity, but a pragmatic principle of
effectiveness.
--Marc Hamann


"Give me enough variables to work with, and I can probably do away with the notion of human free will."
-- demi


Unlike humans, a ruby object can change its genes.
--Chris Uzdavinis, 12/8/2001, ruby-talk


Java: write once, debug everywhere.
--??


All methodologies are based on fear.
--Kent Beck


Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.
--Napoleon I.


All warfare is based on deception.
--Sun Tzu


"If we asked the customers what they wanted, it would be devastating for
the project" -team lead on a project that shall remain nameless.



If Python was the result of Lisp and C++ having a baby,
Ruby is the result of Perl and Smalltalk having a baby.
--MeowMeow Jones, 11/8/2001 on slashdot.


Of course the code works. It just compiled, didn't it?
--helixcode123, 11/8/2001 on slashdot.


is easy, but tiresome. Yes, I'm lazy. --matz


As an added bonus, Camille, she'd come with automatic garbage
collection. Useful in a roommate, that. -- Vince Broz


Many C++ design decisions have their roots in my dislike for forcing
people to do things in some particular way.
--Bjarne Stroustrup


After all... Ruby is the universal language... ;) --Hal E. Fulton



Perhaps I have caught them. We will see... :-)))) --matz



Of course, it's the first release, not a repack. --matz.



The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.



|For example, take expressions like "print if x == 3", where the
|conditional clause goes at the end of the sentence. This feature is
|borrowed from Perl, and was invented to mimic English. In Japanese,
|however, subordinate clauses like "if" and "while" can never be at the
|end of a sentence.
Well, it's seldom, but it can be. "print suru no wa x == 3 no baai desu."
Trust me. I'm really good at Japanese. ;-)


matz.


Actually, I'm trying to make Ruby natural, not simple. --matz



There're good smokers and bad smoders like hackers. --matz.



Well.., It is true as much as perl is object-oriented language. ;-)
--matz.



In my eyes it is never a crime to steal knowledge. It is a good
theft. The pirate of knowledge is a good pirate.
--Michel Serres



Oh man! :-) I have shoot into my foot myself ;-) Sorry! --matz.



I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few
months. I just love debugging ;-) --Linus



Dah! Another bug! Well, it's the life.--matz.



Wozu braucht man einen Debugger, wenn man test-first programmiert?
--Stefan



For an instant I thought Ruby was reading my mind...
if Matz can do that, it IS a powerful language! -- Hal Fulton



Ruby *is* different from other languages, indeed. :-) --matz.



``Toy'' languages are not good. They can solve small problems, but
``real'' languages solve same problems better. --matz.



This is much nicer to the programmers. I like being nice to them,
among whom I am. I'll apply this. Thank you.
--matz.



Ah, the "Birds fly. Except penguins, kiwis, ostriches,.." problem --Hugh Eng



>A fair answer. But it forces me to use my very tired brain...
People on ruby-talk force me everyday. Let's share my feelin'
Using one's brain is good anyway. ;-) --matz



Why do I have to put the thing even Smalltalk abandoned (leaving
illusion though) in Ruby? They are ugly too, I think. -- matz
on Smalltalk often control structure being object is mere illusion in most
Smalltalk implementation



>|Ey! "Only if I find a way; ..."???? You are the creator of Ruby! :-)
OK, I mean 'Only if I find a BEST way'. -- matz



We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97\% of the time:
premature optimization is the root of all evil. --Donald Knuth.



I believe a language like Ruby makes people think like wealthy people,
so that worrying performance too much along with confision caused by
aliases are not ideal. In that sense, I shouldn't have introduce any
bang method! --matz



Ruby is simple in appearance, but is very
complex inside, just like our human body. --matz.



Real programmers don't document. If it was hard
to write, it should be hard to understand.



> 7. Are there any docs, that explain the format of that tree a
>| little bit?
In English? No, sorry. In Japanese? No. --matz



Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself.
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
--Walt Whitman



|I am sure Ruby has a great future ahead of it, and it will be a
|tool that I plan to become more familiar with when time permits.
|But that will have to wait for the future.
Bye now. I will wait you in the future. Yes, I'm living in the
future (a day ahead of you; see Date field).

matz.



|is there anything this man hasn't done!!!!!
Many, of course. For example, I haven't been hit by a bus. ;-) --matz.



By the way, I'm not workaholic. I'm just love to program. :-)
--matz. ruby-talk



Oh! I know that feeling. My wife also knows it. So she does not love I program. ;-)
--Clemens Hintze, ruby-talk



Your impression is right. Finalizers are evil both for implementation
complexity, and GC performance penalty. It's so easy to abuse. So I
made it weird to use on purpose, to make "normal" people avoid them.
--matz. ruby-talk, 13/8/2001




Given infinite time, 100 monkeys could type out the complete works of
Shakespeare. Win 98 source code? Eight monkeys, five minutes.
-- NullGrey



The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
--Alan Kay



The Full Alan Kay Quote:

"Don't worry about what anybody else is going to do.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Really smart people with reasonable funding can do just
about anything that doesn't violate too many of
Newton's Laws!"
-- Alan Kay in 1971,




"In essence, Smalltalk is a programming
language focused on human beings rather
than the computer."
-- Alan Knight


Advertising may be described as the science of arresting
the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
-- ?? (seen on slashdot)

In the long run, every program becomes rococco, and then rubble.
-- Alan Perlis



Tommorow will worry about itself. :-) --matz, ruby-talk



|... and also (I have never used curses) is it any
| easier/nicer than developing with any other IO library?
Well, some say curses is the right name for it ... :-) --Stefan Scholl, 16/8/2001, ruby-talk



go_to('www.ruby-lang.org').get(ruby).play.create.have_fun
--Tobias Reif (.signature), 16/8/2001, ruby-talk



"I cannot imagine any condition which could cause this ship to flounder.
cannot conceive of any vital disaster happening to this vessel."
--- E.J. Smith, Captain of the Titanic, 1912 (XP, 6/8/2001)



"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research,
would it?"
--Albert Einstein (XP, 6/8/2001)



There's a good number of "features" in Java that are just broken enough
to convince me that it's a very poor design with very little real thought
about or understanding of dynamic language features having gone into it.
-- Scott Ribe, talking about Closure (XP, 10/8/2001)




BPFH is Bastard Professor From Hell in some folks' lexicon.
-- Ron Jeffries (XP, 6/8/2001)



This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
--Wolfgang Pauli, on a paper submitted by a colleague



Caffeine is the only way to make my brain run in single-threaded mode.
--David Brady's signature, XP, 20/8/2001



|"Bruce Eckel thinks Ruby isn't worth learning...".
Many people think Riding motorcycle isn't worth learning. They feel
motorcycle are bad ripoff of cars (because of fewer tires). But others
don't agree.

Anyway, for me, it's pretty interesting to see Python people's
reaction to Ruby. I'm glad Ruby has come to the state where Python
people show reaction both positively and negatively.

--matz. ruby-talk, 23/8/2001



Many people I know want to learn to ride a motorcycle. But they are afraid
of the power... --Mikkel, ruby-talk, 24/8/2001



First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win.
-- Gandhi
--can be applied to language wars; --hipster; ruby-talk, 23/8/2001



There are lies, damned lies and benchmarks.
-- after Benjamin Disraeli



Pascal is for building pyramids -- imposing, breathtaking structures
built by armies pushing heavy blocks into place.
Lisp is for building organisms ...
-- Alan Perlis



A few years ago, Be's CEO Jean-Louis Gassée used the phrase "peaceful
coexistence with Windows" to describe his company's intended relationship
with Microsoft on the consumer's hard drive. Later, when it became clear
that Microsoft had no intention of coexisting with a rival OS vendor
peacefully, Gassée recanted, saying, "I once preached peaceful coexistence
with Windows. You may laugh at my expense - I deserve it."



An Alien thinks as well as a human, but like a human.
--John W. Campbell


There are two kind of sysadmins: Paranoids and Losers.
-- (adapted from D. Bach)



|Why can't a class method call a protected instance method, as in the
|following example?
Because it's protected. I don't want my parents read my journal.
--matz.



Mars Attacks, on accepting decreased scope: "Two out of three isn't
bad!" --Matthew Davis in XP, 31/8/2001



Ever notice that villians in James Bond movies never do the
simplest thing that could possibly work, namely putting a bullet in Bond's
head? It's always sharks or laser beams or live cremation with them.
--John Brewer in XP, 31/8/2001



You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure,
what you do not understand. --Leonardo da Vinci



Life would be so simple if only we had the source code!
--Morendil



> Always remember that access rules in Ruby are just fool proof. So
|> it's useful to prepare backdoor for them.
|
|Isn't this more like a front door, though? :-)
Maybe because Ruby is a mansion, a backdoor is bigger than you expect.
--matz. (ruby-talk, 1/9/2001)


In XP, we don't divide and conquer. We conquer and divide.
First we make something that works, then we bust that up and
solve the little parts.
--Kent Beck


A genius in a room full of idiots is the idiot.
--??



"It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating."
-- Oscar Wilde



If you have a wrong vision it doesn't make any difference,
if you are right it is extremely important.
-- Valerie



How do I get to XP? Practice, man, practice.
-- Ron Jeffries, XP-list, 7/9/2001



Do, or do not. There is no try. --Yoda



Life tough is. Then die you do. --Yoda



Inigo: You are wonderful!
Man in Black: Thank you. I have worked hard to become so.



My reality check just bounced.
--Morendil


Change used to be Constant
--Stefan Schmiedl


We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
- Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam Linux Symposium


You can't measure time in days the way you can money in dollars
because every day is different.
-- Jorge Luis Borges


If a 6600 used paper tape instead of core memory, it would use up tape
at about 30 miles/second.
-- Grishman, Assembly Language Programming


All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary
is only to try to think them again.
--Goethe


(from the Matrix):
Morpheus:
"What is "real"? How do you define "real"? If you're talking
about what you
can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see,
then "real" is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain..."
Underlying source: Descartes


Speculation or experimentation - which is more likely to give the correct answer?


It's time for us to give them ideas back. I'm proud of.
--matz. (ruby-talk; 4/10/2001) speaking about
Perl6 and how Perl fans like Ruby's iterator and
metaclasses;


>time to get some sleep.
shhhh ... I can't hear my code!
--Stefan Schmiedl


listen to your code!
--XP (??)


Ruby is so very good at integrating behaviour from existing code base that
it more looks like a DNA swapping bacteria than an OO language.
--Mikkel (ruby-talk, 24/7/2001)


"Life's battles won't always go to the stronger or faster man.
but in the end the one who wins, is the one who thinks he can."
-- Rocky



The rules are ways of thinking, not ways to avoid thinking.
--??




Please pardon my end of the week humor (pun intended)....

OK Ruby marketeers, let's hear you all say in unison,
"Ruby is a very high level language."
What did you say?
"Ruby is a very high level language".
What's that again?
"Ruby is a very high level language."
Once more more with feeling!
"RUBY IS A VERY HIGH LEVEL LANGUAGE."
Once more like you really mean it!
"RUBY IS A VERY HIGH LEVEL LANGUAGE ! ! ! !"
Great! You got it!
8-)

--Conrad Schneiker(ruby-talk, 26/3/2000)


You are to act in the light of experience as guided by intelligence.
-- Nero Wolfe


|Maybe you are being too harsh on yourself?
|
| "least surprise" != "no surprise" :-)
You made me feel easy. Thank you.
I'll still keep trying to make Ruby better anyway.
--matz. (ruby-talk, 16/10/2000)


Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it.
--Seymour Cray


I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
-- Jorge Luis Borges



> Be careful of the bang. ;-)
Powerful, but deadly =)
--matz. (ruby-talk, 10/11/2000)




"Never let your boss or your customer
talk you into doing a bad job."



|What do you want to accomplish with Ruby?
To make me and others enjoy programming better. It's really fun.
The rationale is There's More Than One Way (or Language) To Do It.
--matz.(ruby-talk, 13/12/2000)


>(b) claiming PoLS is not allowed to complain about my decision. It's
> spared for the dictator. ;-)
>So let's not talk about PoLS, but talk about which is more useful.
>From Ruby Conference, with love,
> matz. (ruby-talk, 14/10/2000)


It's a small Web, after all...
--Philip (ruby-talk, 20/10/2001)


Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest
of your life.
--Michael Sinz


Computer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding a new wing to a building as being maintenance.
-Jim Horning


Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
--Scott Adams


Lubarsky's Law: There's always one more bug.


ruby is smarter than perl :-)
Don't change it :-)
--Guy Decoux (ruby-talk:22598, 16/10/2001 on oct/hex/to_i)


Me, I have a science fiction writer's conviction that
the damn robot is supposed to speak human, not the other way around.
--Spider Robinson




> I've never noticed that he "insulted" Ruby. Only I know is that he
> had shown "no interest" for Ruby. I don't consider it "insult".
Whatever the virtues of Ruby, you're an excellent leader for the
community, Matz. Leadership is probably an important part of what
distinguishes the three or four languages that became popular from the
dozens that were invented, went nowhere and died.
--Paul Prescod (ruby-talk, 28/10/2001)


> Thanks. I like this solution more then the eval solution. I suspect that
> anything is possible in Ruby.
Anything short of the halting problem, anyway :)
--Paul Brannan (ruby-talk, 1/11/2001)




|When would this be useful?
We were talking mere theoretical problem (at least I felt like that).
It's no useful.

--matz. (ruby-talk, 31/10/2001)



You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he
uses to frighten you.
-- Eric Hoffer



On other hand you can say that emacs has nice interactive text widget,
but i want light editor not a bulldozer which can make everithing like
coffe or orange juice.
--mips (ruby-talk, 1/11/2001)



XP says: Don't just sit on your DUF, do something. Get some feedback.
--Ron Jeffries (XP, 29/10/2001)



Transcript of Amazon VP meeting (Score:5, Funny)
by GreenCrackBaby on Wednesday October 31, @11:27AM (#2502849)
(User #203293 Info | http://slashdot.org/)
CEO: "Oh no. Slashdot people hate us for our patent of the one-click."
Lackies: "Oh no! What can we do???"
CEO: "Let's tell them we switched to linux."
A little later on
CmdrTaco: "Amazon is great!"
(on slashdot 31/10/2001)




It is impossible to design a system so perfect that no one needs to be
good.
-- T.S. Eliot



A good design is one that you can explain to someone in an elevator ride
without wincing internally at your simplifications.
...
The fewer floors you need, the better your design is :-)
--Michael Feathers (XP, 4/10/2001)


Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.
--Albert Einstein


> I am very much taken by the new kid on the block: Curl. What do you
> think of Curl?

It looks to me like a wierd cross between LISP and some functional
language they showed us at univ. (Maybe ML, not sure)

*shudder*

I may have been irrevocably damaged by my Basic->Pascal->C++ upbringing,
but that Curl stuff just looks hideous!
If LISP = Lots of Indented Silly Parentheses, then CURL = Cruel Usage of
Retro Languageconstructs ;-)

Which reminds me, do we have any cool acronyms for Ruby yet?
Such as... Really Useful Brain Yanker.

--Kent Dahl (ruby-talk, 1/11/2001)



Penguins are born to serve whiskey with ice !
--SA fou.



Java is the Cobol of the new millenium.
--Armin



"Knowledge is the only resource on earth that multiplies when shared."
-??



If you want something really important to be done you must not merely satisfy the reason, you must move the heart also.
---Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)



If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect
wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery



"Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it."
- Robert A. Heinlein



Ruby is not a Swiss-army chainsaw
More like a Star Trek(tm) replicator
-- Andy Hunt (from http://www.rubyconf.org/)


"Squeakland is like a zoo, except we put you right in
with the animals.."
--Ted Kaehler




>> If strings do it, it may be rational for arrays to do it too.>
>> But I wonder why it is rational for strings?
>
> Because Arrays do it. :)
I love ruby!
--Matt Armstrong (ruby-talk, 9/11/2001)



Reflection is like refactoring. If you can measure how much you are
doing, you aren't doing enough.
--Ron Jeffries, (XP, 9/10/2001)



There are plenty of people to whom the problems of their lives never
get presented in terms they can understand.
-- John Jay Chapman




> Here's the terms from inside of my heart:
>
> Permission is granted to anyone to use this software for any purpose,
> including commercial applications, and to alter it and redistribute it
> freely, subject to the following restrictions:
>
> 1. DO NOT SUE ME.
> 2. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT SUING ME.
--matz on the ruby license (ruby-talk, 9/11/2001)


Vision without action is a daydream;
action without vision is a nightmare.
--Japanese proverb;


"There are two ways of constructing a software
design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no
deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that
there are no obvious deficiencies."
--C. A. R. Hoare





|* "But complexity is OK if human can handle it."
|
|How did you arrive at this conlusion/insight?
In "real world", we always use this principle. For example, even the
simplest substance is made up from millions of millions of molecules.
It's pretty complex. But we ignore the complexity most of the cases.

I just "remembered" and applied this principle in the programming
language field. Everyone does similar thing. The only difference is
that I serve simplicity for humans, not for machines.

--matz.


"I have found that humans often use Smalltalk during awkward moments."
-- Commander Data, ST TNG


"Technological progress is like an axe in the
hands of a pathological criminal"
-AE



... don't forget the code blocks ... and the smile that creeps on your face
when your solution is not only working, but also elegant, nay, beautiful .-)
-- Stefan Schmiedl (ruby-talk, 27/11/2001)


Indeed, an upsettingly large part of academia right now seems to be
working on bringing Java into the 1980s... sigh.
--Avi Bryant (ruby-talk, 28/11/2001)



// ='= Smalltalkers do: [:it | All with: Class, (And love: it)]
--Giovanni JJ Giorgi (Squeak-dev, 30/11/2001)



"To the man who only has a hammer in the toolkit, every problem looks like a
nail."
--Abraham Maslow



``Smalltalk is dangerous. It is a drug. My advice
to you would be don't try it; it could ruin your life.''
--Andy Bower



Imitating paper on a computer screen is like tearing the wings off a 747 and
using it as a bus on the highway.
-- Ted Nelson



"It wasn't as easy to get programs right
as we had thought. "
-- Wilkes, 1949



Don't worry that people will steal your ideas. . .
Good ideas have to be crammed down peoples' throats. . .
and even then, they might not sink in.




To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often.
--Winston Churchill




"if you knew today was your last day on earth, what would you do
different? ... especially if, by doing something different, today
might not be your last day on earth"
--Calvin&Hobbes



Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
--Frank Winkler (??)



Steve Jobs said two years ago that X is brain-damaged and it will be
gone in two years. He was half right. --Dennis Ritchie



"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."
--Aldous Huxley


Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden



"Beyond this I must add that programming in Smalltalk is fun. On the one hand, the act of assembling expressions into statements and then into methods is not very different from conventional programming. On the other hand, the experience is totally different, for the objects which populate and traverse the code are active entities, and writing expressions feels like organizing trained animals rather than pushing boxes around."
--Daniel Ingalls, 1978




C for Sinking,
Java for Drinking,
Smalltalk for Thinking.
...and Power to the Penguin!
-- Travis Griggs



"Computers are nothing but a perfect illusion of order"
- Iggy Pop



--------------------------------------"it's like this"-------------------
Dan Sugalski even samurai
dan@sidhe.org have teddy bears and even
teddy bears get drunk



Wer sich nicht in Gefahr begibt, kommt nicht weit rum.
--Günter Wallraff


A language is there to allow, not to restrict.
--Mathieu Bouchard (Ruby-talk, 2/1/2002)



How does Bugs Bunny do it? How does he know when he
wakes up in the morning to put in his pocket 3 sticks
of dynamite, a physician costume, and a bicycle pump? --??



|Basically, I avoid languages that try too hard to force me to do things
|their way, for the same reason I avoid Macintoshes. I haven't yet met
|computer, or a language, that is smarter than I am.

Oh, how smart you are. Ruby is often smarter than I am. ;-)
Of course, my PC is far smarter.

matz. (ruby-talk, 2/2/2002)



We no longer have to grapple with the idea of having two
forms of existence - the one that involves breathing, pissing
and fucking and the one that involves typing...
--Big Mouth Billy Bass Thompson, The Register


Comments lie. Code doesn't.
-- Ron Jeffries


"Better to have loved and lost, right man?"
"Try it sometime."
-- Men in Black



"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking
we were at when we created them."
-- Albert Einstein



"Man tut nicht wohl, sich allzulange im Abstrakten aufzuhalten." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (18??)(something like: "You're not doing yourself a
pleasure, if you stay too long in abstractions.")

"It serves one well not to dabble in abstractions too long." -- J.W. Goethe



"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or
no influence on society."
-- Mark Twain


Don't ask whether you can do something, but how to do it.
-- Adele Goldberg



Don't rush to implement your commander's orders. Wait until he changes his mind.
--Soviet Army saying, reported by Jim Kimbell on the XP list


The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that,
you've got it made.
--Groucho Marx


"...once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."
--Douglas Adams (1952-2001), as the supercomputer "Deep Thought" in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


C++: The power, elegance and simplicity of a hand grenade.


"Reassurance is good. Cash is better."
--AHMAD FAWZI, of the United Nations, on American support for Afghanistan.


There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
--Thomas Hurst (ruby-talk, 27/1/2002)


FEAR = Fantasy Experienced As Reality
-- Ron Jeffries (XP, 30/1/2002)


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build
bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce
bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
--Rich Cook


Internet: growth is exponential, clue is a contant.
--??


You think you know when you learn, are more sure when you can write, even
more when you can teach, but certain when you can program.
--Alan Perlis



"I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him."
--William Shakespeare, 1599; Julius Caesar, act 3 scene 2



J. R. Capablanca, world chess champion in the 1920s, was asked how
many moves ahead he looked. He said, "Only one. But it's the right one."



A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is not
worth knowing.
--anonymous



The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least
until we've finished building it.



The longer a system is down, the less people complain or
care about it being down.
--Dossy (XP, 4/3/2002)


One of the great skills in using any language is knowing what not
to use, what not to say. ... There's that simplicity thing again.
-- Ron Jeffries



If you give someone Fortran, he has Fortran.
If you give someone Lisp, he has any language he pleases.
--Guy L. Steele



FORD: Just pust the fish in your ear, come on, it's only a little one.
ARTHUR: Uuuuuuuuggh!
-- The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, Episode 1



ARTHUR: Ford, you're turning into a penguin, stop it.
-- The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, Episode 2


In my opinion and experience it is true that if anybody
provides project costs without knowing the details is
either a gambling fool or a robber. Statistically speaking,
of course :-).
--Stefan


Die Zukunft sollte man nicht vorhersehen wollen,
sondern moeglich machen.
--Antoine de Saint Exupery


Structure is _nothing_ if it is all you got. Skeletons _spook_ people if
they try to walk around on their own. I really wonder why XML does not.
--??


Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.
--Mignon McLaughlin, author


The price of reliability is the pursuit of the utmost simplicity.
It is a price which the very rich find most hard to pay.
--E.W. Dijkstra


The code done yesterday should be as good as you could make it
yesterday. The fact that you know more today, and are more capable
today, is good news about today, not bad news about yesterday.
--Ron Jeffries


We can only get smart things from stupid things.
--Kelly (out of control)


Source code sees no nationalities and is always available to be read.
;~)
--Sean Chittenden


Future history will be a race between education and catastrophe.
-- H. G. Wells


If you worry too much about what you are doing, you don't do it.
-- Rashid


The wages of sin is debugging
--Ron Jeffries


there is a need to encrypt perl programs?
--Stefan Schmiedl


God is real, unless declared integer.
--??


According to the human genome project, humans are 50-60% bananas.
--??


A reporter in the 60's was walking around the halls of NASA one day and ran
across a janitor. He asked the janitor what he was doing, and he replied
"I'm helping put a man on the moon."


"I find this a nice feature but it is not according to the documentation.
Or is it a BUG?" "Let's call it an accidental feature. :-)"
--Larry Wall in <6909@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>


All language designers are arrogant. Goes with
the territory... :-)
-- Larry Wall in <1991Jul13.010945.19157@netlabs.com


Q. Why is this so clumsy? A. The trick is to use Perl's strengths rather than its weaknesses.
--Larry Wall in <8225@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>


Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. :-)
--Larry Wall in <8571@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>


I knew I'd hate COBOL the moment I saw they'd used "perform" instead of "do".
--Larry Wall on a not-so-popular programming language


Beauty? What's that?
--Larry Wall in <199710221937.MAA25131@wall.org>


I view the JVM as just another architecture that Perl ought to be ported to.
(That, and the Underwood typewriter...)
--Larry Wall in <199808050415.VAA24026@wall.org>


: What do people think? What, do people think? :-)
--Larry Wall in <199808071736.KAA12738@wall.org>


Symmetry is overrated. Overrated is symmetry.
--Larry Wall in <6vhq4r$a6i@kiev.wall.org>


The purpose of most computer languages is to lengthen your resume by a word
and a comma.
--Larry Wall


: Let's say I have a perl object in an OO database.
Let's not.
--Larry Wall in <199904091918.MAA06535@kiev.wall.org>


When someone says ``I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,'' give him a lollipop.
-- Alan Perlis


The social dynamics of the net are a direct consequence of the fact that nobody has yet developed a Remote Strangulation Protocol.
-- Larry Wall


I think ugly can be beautiful, and that beautiful
can get ugly real quick. I think in particular of Lisp, which is
the most beautiful language in the world, and every program in Lisp is
real ugly.
-- Larry Wall on Lisp.


If you can't annoy somebody, then there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis



He is nobody's fool: he's self-employed.
--a friend.


He who will not apply new remedies must expect old evils.
-- Francis Bacon


And compared to Smalltalk, Java is only half a programming language.
-- Nat Pryce (Ruby-talk, 20/4/2002)


At some point in the project somebody will start whining about the need to
determine the project "requirements". This involves interviewing people who
don't know what they want but, curiously, know exactly when they need it.
(Scott Adams - The Dilbert principle)


How good the design is doesn't matter near as much as whether the
design is getting better or worse. If it is getting better, day by
day, I can live with it forever. If it is getting worse, I will die.
--Kent Beck


If it doesn't look simple, you probably got it wrong!


Deducting that you won't like Ruby syntax based on not liking Perl
syntax is sort of like saying that you won't like steak because you hate
liver. You'll change your mind, unless you are a vegetarian :-)
-- Kent Dahl, ruby-talk, 12/8/2002


Trustworthy Computing = Come here little girl.. I've got candy.
-Ben Rosenberg


All programmers are optimists.
-- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr.


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
--Weiler's Law


To be on the wire is life. The rest is waiting.
--Karl Wallenda


They will not be ignored. But ony History knows the future.
--matz


That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers.
- Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in "Oath of Fealty"


"they have the internet on computers now?
--homer simpson


There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what
you're talking about.
-- John von Neumann


I need my daily Dilbert!
--tom Fischer


It is not the strongest of the species that survive, not the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.
-- Charles Darwin


"Nonsense is just nonsense, but the study of nonsense is science."


It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare,
it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
--Seneca


The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Onassis


I haven't lost my mind, it's on tape backup somewhere !
--Morendil


A professional programmer is an amateur who never quit.
--Morendil


Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.
-James A. Michener


A dialect of LISP without car, cdr and cons? That would be like French
without "amour"!
--Ron Jeffries


It's later than you think.
--seen on slashdot;


first question in the Management Quiz: "Do you believe that
anything you don't understand must be easy to do?"
--(Scott Adams; "The Dilbert Principle")


I'm some guy who likes Ruby because it's like Smalltalk only alive,
and who would like it to be more like Smalltalk.
--Ron Jeffries on the FreeRide wiki



``Some navies need aircraft carriers, but you don't need many aircraft carriers in the world. The rest of the world can manage with frigates.''
--Mickon on MySQL


I tell people to start implementing when they are pretty sure there
aren't more important stories out there. An iteration's worth of data
is worth months of speculation.
--Kent Beck


If you don't think carefully, you might think that programming
is just typing statements in a programming language.
--Ward Cunningham


The mantra, give them something working before they can say "stop",
--inspired by Ron Jeffries; from Ron?


Look at why people who get IE with a new machine switch to Navigator
and what is being addressed in IE 4.0 to make that difficult.
--Microsoft executive Jonathan Roberts, e-mail, March 28, 1997


"Every line of code not written is a correct one!".
--fox gui toolkit


Forget Napster. Why not really break the law?
--seen on slashdot


Hiroshima '45 - Tschernobyl '86 - Windows '95
--somewhere on Usenet


On Mon, 12 Aug 2002, Daniel Phillips wrote:
>
> It goes on in this vein. I suggest all vm hackers have a close look at
> this. Yes, it's stupid, but we can't just ignore it.

Actually, we can, and I will.

I do not look up any patents on _principle_, because (a) it's a horrible
waste of time and (b) I don't want to know.

The fact is, technical people are better off not looking at patents. If
you don't know what they cover and where they are, you won't be knowingly
infringing on them. If somebody sues you, you change the algorithm or you
just hire a hit-man to whack the stupid git.

Linus


Trust in academics who seek the truth.
Distrust academics who speak from authority.
--John Goodsen


So lang, and Thanks for All the Fish.
--Douglas Adams; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy;


Your question doesn't make any sense. You might as well ask whether
it is possible to grow vegetables from a painting, without becoming
Wednesday first.
-- Abigail, comp.lang.perl.misc


As a rule, he -or she- who has the most information will have the
greatest success in life.
--Benjamin Disraeli


Zero defects: The result of shutting down a production line.
--Kelvin Throop III, "The Management Dictionary"


Walking on water and developing software from a
specification are easy if both are frozen.
--Edward V. Berard


If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
--Morendil


Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man. But they don't bite everybody.
---Attrib. Stanislaw Lem


Adapt, improvise, overcome.
--Gunnery Sergeant Tom Highway (Heartbreak Ridge)


Knowledge must come through action;
you can have no test which is not fanciful,
save by trial.
--Sophocles


I have always felt a certain horror of political economists, since I heard one of them say that he feared the famine of 1848 in Ireland would not kill more than a million people, and that would scarcely be enough to do much good.
---Attrib. to Benjamin Jowett


Stop Doing Things that Dhat Don't Work.
--Unix Room at Bell Labs


Cheap, fast, good. Pick two.
--??


Education is the ability to listen to almost anything
without losing your temper or your self-confidence."
-- Robert Frost


If you don't like change, you'll like being irrelevent even less.
-- General Eric Shinseki, Chief of Staff, US Army


God is a Ruby programmer, after all :-)
-- Andy Hunt


I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas.
I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage


I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's;
I will not reason and compare; my business is to create.
-- William Blake


We are like sailors who have to rebuild their ship on the open sea,
without ever being able to dismantle it in dry-dock and reconstruct
it from the best components.
-- Otto Neurath


Steering is more important than speed,
in driving and in software development.
-- Ron Jeffries


This is how I program. Take the parts that make sense to you. Ignore the rest.
-- Ron Jeffries


The computer should be doing the hard work. That's what it's paid to do, after all.
-- Larry Wall


Driving along in my Ferarri, seeing two people argue about whether their
Skoda or their Lada is better...
-- a Smalltalk developer


Programming Ruby
def initialize; fun; end
A language with class
--Jim Freeze


There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore
good."
And one says, "This is new, and therefore better."
--John Brunner, science fiction writer (1934-1995)


Productivity is proportional to the deadline of the task :-).
--??


Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a Perl script.
-- Programming Perl, 2nd edition


Curiosity is more powerful than skepticism.
--??


If you talk about it, even the simplest thing becomes complex
and incomprehensible.
--Hermann Hesse


Consider a .NET application - it spends a noticable amount of time just
starting up - presumably due to initial compilation. I never was a big fan
of JIT - it's like spending a weekend tuning your sportscar for a shopping
trip.

Ruby is slow in theory and fast in praxis.
--Mikkel


If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
-[Morendil]-


| * The "routine" has more than one exit. This violates the "one entry, one exit" rule of structured programming.


I don't care about that principle. It's no good.

--matz.


XP is the most important movement in our field today. I predict that
it will be as essential to the present generation as the S.E.I. and its
Capability Maturity Model were to the last.
-- Tom DeMarco


How should I know if it works? That's what beta testers are for. I
only coded it.
-- Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting


"This is China's New Deal. Every problem is easier to solve
when growth is faster."
- FRED HU, chief China economist for Goldman Sachs, on Beijing's
efforts to revive the economy with building projects.


It is a bad plan that admits of no modifications.
-- Publius Syrus (ca. 42 BCE)


"Software is a time bomb."
-- Michael Feathers

You are to act in the light of experience as guided by intelligence.
-- Nero Wolfe


Hope is not a strategy.
-- Michael Henos


No matter how far down the wrong road you've gone, turn back.
-- Turkish proverb


One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.
-- Bill Nye (The Science Guy)


Some people really love to solve hard puzzles. I respect them.
I'm not as good as Larry at making puzzles. sigh.
-- matz


User-friendly, 16.6.2003link
.. Team is an anagram for "meat".


Your estimate can't be right, we don't have the budget for it!
-- ??


Creativity is making the complicated simple.
-- Charles Mingus


Master your instrument, master the music,
and then forget all that *!xy!@ and just play.
-- Charlie Parker


I invented the term Object-Oriented,
and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
-- Alan Kay


This focus on the user clearly indicates a desire to re-humanize
computer technology. The metric of success was not compile time
or how fast a Smalltalk program could execute the Towers of Hanoi
or the Eight Queens, rather Smalltalk aimed to embody flexibility,
beauty, simplicity, and extensibility.
-- Benedict Dugan


It [Smalltalk] became the exemplar of the new computing, in part,
because we were actually trying for a qualitative shift in belief
structures - a new Kuhnian paradigm in the same spirit as the
invention of the printing press - and thus took highly extreme
positions . . ."

"Smalltalk is ... "a new medium for communication"

Kay compares Smalltalk to a fertilized egg,
"that can transform itself into the myriad of specializations
needed to make a complex organism [which] has parsimony,
generality, enlightenment, and finesse -- in short, beauty."

(The Early History of Smalltalk - Alan Kay)


C++: Simula in wolf's clothing.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup


C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot;
C++ makes it harder, but when you do,
it blows away your whole leg.
--Bjarne Stroustrup)


Within C++, there is a much smaller and cleaner language
struggling to get out.
--Bjarne Stroustrup



"There are only two things wrong with C++:
The initial concept and the implementation.
-- Bertrand Meyer


"Whenever the C++ language designers had two competing ideas
as to how they should solve some problem, they said,
"OK, we'll do them both". So the language is too baroque
for my taste.
-- Donald E Knuth


"I consider C++ the most significant technical
hazard to the survival of your project and do so
without apologies.
-- Alistair Cockburn


C++ is history repeated as tragedy.
Java is history repeated as farce.
(Scott McKay)


Java is, in many ways, C++--.
-- Michael Feldman


The thing that I really hate about Smalltalk,
though, is the fact that every time I wish C++
or Java did something differently it turns out
that Smalltalk does it the way I want it to.
I've never even used Smalltalk on a real project.
I just learned it so that I could read source code,
now I keep running into things that would be easier
if I were using it. It's really annoying.
-- Phil Goodwin


High thoughts must have a high language.
-- Aristophanes


Smalltalk, with its emphasis on the human side of programming,
was a nurturing environment in which to grow Extreme Programming.
Smalltalk is still technically superior for reducing the cost of
change over the life of a project, a key component in enabling XP.
-- Kent Beck


The aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom,
but to set a limit to infinite error."
-- Bertolt Brecht, Life of Galileo


Winning is not part of a great plan, but how to intelligently react. -- Google VP


Dave's Definitions: Morning, is after I've slept for more than four hours. Lunch is the second meal of the day no matter the hour of consumption. A long drive is one longer then you have last slept.


Hire good people, and leave them alone. (William Mc Knight - 3M)





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